06 May 2006

you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave

Tips for the business traveler:

When you are in another town, familiarize yourself with your surroundings. You may wish to consult a map to learn where your hotel is in relation to prominent local landmarks, especially if you are planning a night of heavy drinking.

For the safety of yourself and others, refrain from getting so staggeringly drunk that you mistake the offices of a Fortune 100 company for your hotel.

Or confine your extreme intoxication to your hotel lobby.

Take an anger management class to help you deal with emotions when confronted with panic-inducing, unsettling surroundings such as an office.

Consider parlaying your misdeeds into a lucrative consulting career in the security industry.

Because after this unfortunate series of events, you will most likely need a new line of work.

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