Tips for the business traveler:
When you are in another town, familiarize yourself with your surroundings. You may wish to consult a map to learn where your hotel is in relation to prominent local landmarks, especially if you are planning a night of heavy drinking.
For the safety of yourself and others, refrain from getting so staggeringly drunk that you mistake the offices of a Fortune 100 company for your hotel.
Or confine your extreme intoxication to your hotel lobby.
Take an anger management class to help you deal with emotions when confronted with panic-inducing, unsettling surroundings such as an office.
Consider parlaying your misdeeds into a lucrative consulting career in the security industry.
Because after this unfortunate series of events, you will most likely need a new line of work.
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